


Mixed AU Salad

by violasarecool



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Drabbles, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 18:43:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2398865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I really love AUs, ok.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Detectives on the Trail of a Chilling Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: "Hard-boiled detectives Terezi and Jane track down notorious, serial art-thief Crazy Eights"

A wisp of cloud curled around the pale moon, the streets below cast into harsh relief by its white light.  
  
"I have her in my sights," Jane whispered. The microphone crackled, and she tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, watching as a shadowy figure crept alongside the darkened buildings.  
  
"You don’t have to whisper," Terezi replied, her voice echoing tinnily from the radio in the silence.  
  
"I know," Jane said, irritably, "it’s just really quiet. Better safe than sorry."  
  
"We’ve got her this time," Terezi said, and Jane could picture her adjusting her tie. She smirked. "Stick to the plan, nothing could possibly—"  
  
There was a crackle, then silence.  
  
"Terezi?"  
  
Jane strained her eyes, peering across the road. Nothing.  
  
The radio hissed back to life. “Bad news. Slick is here.”  
  
"Fuck."


	2. Superheroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: "sollux decides to become a vigilante masked hero"
> 
> BB TROLL TIME

It is a dark night on Alternia. The wind, cold. The noise, minimal. Our hero, reluctant, like all good heroes.

He stands alone, a dark shadow against a dark backdrop, only visible by his red and blue glowing eyes. His tragic past does not faze him, no, the deaths of those he loves will not hold him back. He will do all he can to protect the city that they once held dear. And as he surveys said city, his cape fluttering in the breeze—

"Wait, cape? No way, I’m not having a crappy cape."

Sollux crossed his arms and glared across the table, pencil discarded beside a partially-filled piece of paper.

Vriska fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Are you forgetting whose story this is?”

Sollux looked down at the pencil scribbles covering the paper in front of him. “Yours?”

"That’s riiiiight! And who promised to write me a superhero story as payment for saving your butt yesterday?"

"Yeah, me, I get it. What does that have to do with the cape?"

She pouted at him. “You _have_ to have a cape, all superheroes have capes!”

He narrowed his eyes. “Spidertroll doesn’t have a cape.”

"Well… Ok, fine, no cape." She tapped her feet impatiently. "Can we get to Spider _girl_ 's entrance already?”

"When I’ve finished my bit."

"Well, hurry up!"


	3. And Then There Were Lobsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: lobsterstuck
> 
> no prompt too ridiculous :D

Kanaya tapped a claw against the tank. “How long has it been?”  
  
Dave fidgeted with the rubber bands around his claws, tugging uselessly at their tight grip. “Are we counting in days or dead lobsters, because both numbers are getting pretty high.”  
  
"Consider yourselves fucking lucky no one’s ordered seafood in a while," Karkat hissed, staring as outside the glass tank a waiter carried an empty plate back to the kitchen.  
  
"You mean to say you don’t enjoy the perpetual uncertainty of what, or shall I say who, will be the next meal?" Rose tapped her claws together at Karkat.  
  
Karkat batted her away with one claw. “Do you have to be so fucking morbid?”  
  
"It passes the time. Would you prefer we reviewed the ways our predecessors ended their days?"  
  
"Yeah," Dave said, "let’s talk about the fact that old dude Harley’s hollowed out and on display over the entrance, because that’s kind of hella creepy."  
  
John, eye stalks pressed against the side of the tank, waved a claw at them. “He’s coming, he’s coming!”  
  
"Fuck," Karkat said.  
  
"Fucking hell," Dave said, peering around Karkat.  
  
They watched, claws and legs and various other exoskeletoned body parts shuddering in anticipation as the cook made his way to the large tank.  
  
"Alright, my motherfuckin’ lobster possy," Gamzee said, pushing back his tall white chef’s hat, "who’s ready for one salty experience?" He grinned, teeth gleaming white. "Heheh. Literally."

**Author's Note:**

> please _don't give me crit_ , constructive or not, even if you feel the need to point out a typo, i would appreciate it if you didn't. i do this for fun, and once i've posted something, i don't really want to think about it critically anymore. thanks.


End file.
